I learned early on you don't always get what you want in life. You can circle as many things as you want on a Toys R Us Christmas mailer and get zero of those things. You can wish for a Lite Brite year after year and be 45 years old and still not have one. This is life. Not supposed to be fair. Not supposed to be used to just given things you want. As a result my life was dedicated to what needed to be done and who needed what. Not what I wanted or needed but everyone else. I didn't get the things I wanted so I just thought that's how it was. Everyone else deserved the things. Not me. I would need new shoes yet buy shoes for others. New jackets for them, worn out spray paint hoodies for me. Treat others to delicious restaurants, find bollweevils in my box of rice at home. Make big holiday meals for the family when I was tired and not feeling festive... and put on my best Pollyanna positive face to serve it and kinda cry inside that the responsibility was always on me to m