Skip to main content

Your Dreams Are Glossy, Printed and Very Real

The latest issue of PATRON ART MAGAZINE

I have to take a little moment to remember something, my past. And this ad in the Patron Art Magazine has a lot to do with this memory and why it's important to me right now. Rewind about 4 or 5 years ago when I was working in a dim basement putting price tags on books and museum knick knacks and hauling ginormous carts of boxes and merchandise around for a living. That was my world, my reality.....and I was usually way too drained after work to even think about painting. Nevertheless I worked in a museum and I was around art constantly. My heart hurt. My soul hurt. I physically ached and mourned a loss of SOMETHING in my life. I had a large hole in my being and I wasn't sure how to fix it.
On my lunchbreaks I would escape the basement and sit in the sunshine outside, I would read books about how to quit your job and pursue your dreams. I would look at art magazines and books and try to cultivate inspiration. I would look longingly at art magazines and read about artists who were having shows and wanted that. I wanted THAT. I wanted to paint, work at art and have shows. I wanted to be that artist in the magazine having a show. So I am a little excited to open a magazine I used to look at longingly and see....wow, that's me and I'm about to have a show!
You have to want it with everything in you, you have to fight for it tooth and nail, you have to fight yourself and fight physical ailment and weakness that tries to exhaust you, you have to hear NO a million times, you have to read rejection letters saying you don't fit in their little paint by number kit, you have to be ALONE a lot of the time, you have to go into the dark places of your mind, you have to get your electricity cut off, cars taken away, see people having fabulous meals on Instagram while you eat rice that might've had a bollweevil in it, you have to wonder where the next dollar is going to come from, you have to visit the Coin Star a couple times, amass a ridiculous amount of hospital bills and fight physical pain and STILL not throw in the towel and put on the heels and go to some corporate office and beg for a job. You have to want it so much you stop caring about physical comfort. It's madness I admit but it's a dream come true doing what you love every day.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Words!

  Hello! I haven't blogged since last year. Even writing the word "blog" felt foreign and weird! I have actually been writing stuff on my Patreon account so if you've missed the updates you can sign up for free over there. There is also an option to pay a few dollars a month to help support me as an artist and get "extra" content- in case you are of that mindset and either way- thank you for caring about the art adventures.  I have missed blogging actually. I guess I like to make words, string them together like a pretty necklace and let them live their own expressive life wrapped around me.  Times are different. Times are weird! But I guess you know that. And also times are the same and as old as time. Is it really more terrible than any other time or are we humans just more "connected" to the propaganda and daily bad trip in a way that is insane and unhealthy? Either way I do my best to keep my sanity and I don't believe about 98% of what I s...

Taming the monster

What started as me deciding to spend 30 minutes picking out clothes to donate from my closet .. Turned into about 2 hours of folding t shirts, jeans and deciding winter was far enough away that all sweaters and coats could be packed away. My closet was a walk-in diaster. My cat had lived in it all winter, knocked stuff down, slept on it, fuzzed up clothes and built forts. No lie.  I had been living in the same two pairs of jeans and 5 shirts off my bedroom floor (closet #2 😂). First things first, all the T shirts from OLD JOBS were the first to get put in donation pile. I don't need memories of "that place" and they were all too small, waaay too large or tan/beige/grey ..all the wrong unhappy colors that just say JOB when you look at them. Bye! So that happened yesterday. Major project that still needs work but for now it is peaceful enough to my brain to leave it alone. I have two large loads of laundry to do because my clothes look like...well like a cat has been sleep...

It's the little things...

I will eventually get back to posting about art 😂 but I lost my first pound with just 3 days of dedicating myself to Metabolic Renewal...and this is me playing fast and loose because A. I did not buy their shakes I'm doing my own. So I don't really know their caloric/nutrition value vs mine. B. Getting 10,000 steps a day on my pedometer.... doesn't happen. That's almost two hours of walking a day. I get 8,000 or 9,000 before the Texas heat or work calls it off. C. Haven't followed any of the meal recipes. I've been winging it with good sense. I will get closer to their instructions in time ( like maybe next week) since I paid for it. My body is SORE AF. It's totally getting put through the paces and I'm lucky there are modifications for pudgy newbies like me. But 1st lb down is a good feeling because seeing the scale move down is what I'm after. I'm pretty proud of myself for yesterday in general..did my workout, a walking session THEN WENT ...