Skip to main content

Never lost

 

Appropriate to my mood
I guess it's appropriate to be full on in the gloomy mood of Sorrow- as I work daily with Death in the Dia de Los Muertos exhibition. 
My hand paints skulls, death grins and the life that springs forth from it. Death is never just death and the absence of life. It is very much alive in many ways. My recent blogs may seem like absolute bummers and they are- to an extent- but know that I have a healthy relationship with death, depression and healing. There is something comforting in knowing that you are feeling.... And feeling deeply. It's a very amazing gift of being human, although it hurts. How very magical!
There are times in life where the trauma makes you feel nothing. I remember having no joy in life for anything and feeling like I was on autopilot as a human. Go to work, act normal, nothing made me happy, nothing made me sad. A complete flatline of feelings. Not a real human. I hated it. 
All that was after a trauma of a bad breakup once upon a time. And for the longest time I couldn't cry, for the life of me... Could not cry. I was worried something broke inside of me. And it did. My heart.
Eventually I became a human again. And now for the life of me I can't stop the tears and they come easily. I'm taking solace in the comfortable feeling that I am feeling deeply again. A real human with a real breaking heart that will probably break over and over again.  
I will lose many things, pets and people, loves, family and friends in life..."lose" being a silly word. They are not lost, in fact they are safer than ever they have been. You know right where they are now, always. 

Inside that breaking heart. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Digital Vacation

  Have you looked around and discovered you have filled your life with bad habits? If you said NO- good for you, you might not be human! 😁  I was experiencing a major BLAH and it was all because of ME. What I spent time on, consumed, did and did not do. I also felt like the willpower I used to have in abundance was gone and I wondered if I would ever get it back.  First and foremost I had to look at my main bad habits. What was the very first thing I did every day. EVERY DAY! I reached for my phone, I social media blitzed my brain over two long cups of coffee every morning. I made sure to look at my MEMORIES like it was my job every day. Ruminating on the past and seeing everyone's angry opinions and celebrity/political posts and regurgitated memes ad nauseum....is actually not a very optimistic and healthy way for me to cruise into the day. Not only is this not good for my spirit it wasted almost two hours of every morning. 💀 That's precious time!  I'm weaning mys...

So what's the Scenario?

Street Artist 'My Dog Sighs' Paints Faces on Cans Found Littered on the Street I found this interesting art on Pinterest and thought it would be a good example for a proposed scenario.....indulge me if you will.... The scenario is this....this street artist paints on cans. Pretty cool right? Pretty neat! He's probably not the only one who paints on cans in the world but he most likely is the only one in his little neck of the woods and art circle. Ok, let's pretend I invite this CAN painter to be in this big group show we do annually at my gallery. (This is pretend land, I dont have a gallery but roll with me...)  Ok, he is a hit, everyone thinks his can faces are awesome and he's considered pretty unique for doing this medium in our little art circle. Ok fast forward into the future....it's a year later and it's time for our big annual show...here's the scenario....we don't invite the CAN artist to come show again BUT we do hand out a can ...

Top 10 Reasons

  Have you seen Labyrinth? The scene where she finally realizes she had the power all along and that actually Gareth did not ...that's powerful stuff. My favorite part....aside from every scene with David Bowie prancing about in too tight leggings. 😁 My digital vacation got interrupted yesterday. I've still been checking my messages in Messenger because HI IM AN ART BUSINESS AND THAT DONT STOP. I was alerted that the scammer had hit up a mutual friend and because I was trying to be Art Spiderman I went swinging back online to see what was going on. Unfortunately the scammer got someone and I had to make another PSA about it to help my peeps understand what was going on. Barring that though... it's up to YOU to be SMART PROACTIVE RESEARCHING humanoids. I can't save you.  Also my brief pop into fakebook gave me enough fodder to want to keep my vacation going. Here's what I was met with on messenger and on my page upon landing:  1. People pushing politics/celebrities ...