Skip to main content

Good Grief

I wonder where the term "good grief" comes from? I remember first hearing it on Charlie Brown...something my Mom would say. I never really thought about it until now I guess, good grief. What is GOOD about grief?
I went to the service for my friend yesterday and felt a little bit of what this "good grief" is. Let me explain. Grieving for the loss of someone you love is so very complex and everyone does it in their own ways. In a lot of ways it feels like a little bit of yourself has died along with that person. You and that person shared experiences that only you two were privvy to- that person took that little piece of history with them when they left...it feels like. Of course you have the memories but now it is you alone with those memories so when you grieve- you are also grieving for yourself.
I try very hard to remember when I'm in this position that I should not fall into SELF PITY. POOR ME! LOOK HOW SAD I AM! I try to remember the death was collectively shared not only by all who knew the person but by the whole world who has to experience death on several occasions throughout life and ultimately our very own one day. All of us. Every one.
 It is healthy to remember this is a shared experience and in such the grief you are feeling will make you feel very much alive and connected to others. You will feel kindred with those hurting also and not like you alone are the saddest and entitled to be sad. I found an interesting essay on the subject here:
A Buddhists Perspective On Grieving
The service for my friend was a nice way to feel connected once again to my friend who shared little pieces of his life with everyone in the room. It made me  realize we are all collectively going to miss our friend and the future adventures we could have had with him but that ultimately the connection with him and each other was still very much alive. The grief, emotion and compassion is proof of a connectedness unbroken. A feeling of good grief washed over me to know my friend just connected me to a whole group of new people who although I didn't know them were experiencing this right along with me. 




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Addicted

  Well it's official. I am addicted. Luckily to nothing horrible. It was bound to happen. I'm addicted to the morning walk...the endorphins...the serotonin...the "me" time....the solitude....the music pumping in my ears...the nature I see and feeling like I control my day.  I'm usually up before the sun and getting as much mileage as my body allows. Sometimes it's more than others but it's always good. I'm going to add in more sprints here and there as "burst" exercises are better for me than long running sessions.  Yes, even on the weekends I'm out doing it. There is no sleeping in and admittedly I woke up at 2:30am and started having my morning coffee in preparation... Even though I will wait till much later to go out. That's how I know it's an addiction.  Currently on Week 6 and haven't missed a workout or even postponed it. I showed up for myself and made myself a priority every morning. I am proud of that and so much LESS...
2 comments
Read more

Everything in it's place

One of photographer Franks Lopez's vintage cameras Last week was a whirlwind of deadlines, bus trips and fun...all culminating in an art show on Saturday night and two glasses of celebratory wine for all my efforts. I had set a goal for three new vinyl works  to be done in about a week and actually made that happen (actually make that 4!). Normally 3 new vinyl pieces would be nothing for me to do in a week but I had challenged myself to work outside my realm of expertise and delve into the world of LED lights, epoxy, drills, bolts and other fascinating construction. The end result is that I can now push my vinyl creations further - the finished piece was well received! Sales were made and sales are pending and a whole new crowd has been exposed to my work. YAY!  I found myself modeling for local photographer Frank Lopez last week and was thrilled because I like his work very much. He was doing "tintypes" and I got to see the whole process in action as well as ex...
Post a Comment
Read more

Down Time

work in progress, my first MUNNY It's been a whirlwind of cleaning, organizing and getting ready for the holidays. There are now small signs of Christmas here, a wreath on the door, the tiny tree is up and garland is flocking the doorway. I sent out some Christmas cards and bought the Christmas ham to share with my family. I guess I need to find a pie though, absolutely forgot about that. Some friends are coming over tonight so I'm making my studio presentable for whoever would like to see it....it's a dining room, don't expect some cool amazing room filled with cool amazing things. In fact almost all my art is NOT EVEN HERE. And actually the get together is being held next door at my friend and landlords place so I don't have to break my back trying to be the hostess with the mostest awesome house. I'm an artist with 3 cats and too much stuff, it's never gonna be pretty. But I digress, this blog is about that creepy looking head up there.... I need...
2 comments
Read more