What Just Happened?

So I just read my last blog post. All the signs were there. No energy. Not feeling it. Pushing myself to go on. Story of my life. I really need to start listening to the things my body is telling me. Sometimes I just have to not work so hard. I just surfaced from a horrible, horrifying and painful experience.
For years now I have suffered a chronic and mysterious pain. The doctors could never give me a solid lead on anything. Ive been through sonograms, MRI's, CT scans, cameras inserted in places they shouldn't be- you name it. I've heard I might possibly have a uterine fibroid but if so it would be too small to be creating such pain as I was having. On a level of 1-10 what kind of pain would that be? 200. The kind of pain that makes you understand why someone with chronic pain just doesnt want to continue life kind of pain. And nothing helped. It felt like I was being murdered with a sharp knife in the right side of my gut every month for years kind of pain. I took Ibuprofen, it didn't touch it. Naproxen helped slightly more than Ibuprofen so I stuck by it. Little did I know I was creating a whole new kind of torture for myself with its continued use. I had gotten so used to taking the Naproxen about every four hours when the pains would come on, crawl in a ball and will it to go away but this past Thursday morning I finally broke. The pain when it hit didn't go away, didnt subside so I thought another round of Naproxen would surely ease it. Nope. BAD MOVE. The pain increased and brought on nausea. The nausea and the pain brought on vomitting and for the rest of Thursday I was violently ill, in pain, unable to get a moment of peace. My chest started to hurt. I wasn't going to make it through the night like this. Off to the ER I went.
Methodist is a short drive from my house and so I found myself, now with chills, cold sweats and puking up bile. I was certain I had OD'ed on Naproxen. After registering there I see the pretty full waiting room isnt moving. AT. ALL. After a quick talk with the nurse it turns out theres at least a 4 hour wait time. I pick up my pukey bucket and leave. If Im going to die Im going to die at home. But no, my guy takes me to Presbyterian-who in the past has been speedy and very caring with me. Such a long drive, Im in and out of consciousness. I feel my blood is running cold now, I stagger into ER number 2.
They see me pretty quick and not too much longer Im in a room with an IV attached to me. pain meds, anti nausea meds and all the fluids I need are now being pumped into me. I crash. When I awaken I have to drink a contrast drink which will show whats wrong with me in the CT scan. After the CT scan Im wheeled back to my room. I finish my IV but Im still nauseous. Another round of anti nausea meds pumped into me and then the doctor comes in to tell me the news.
You have an unusually large cyst on your left ovary. (the pains been on my RIGHT side this whole time!!!) He said the pain could be "deferred", through nerves. He also diagnosed me with gastritis which he thinks will resolve but I'm being sent for follow ups in a week. I'm wondering at this point how this unusually large cyst had never been detected in all my years of tests. Gastritis was brought on by all the years of Naproxen use and I now have to change my diet significantly. I'm able to leave the ER and before I even get down the hall- I puke some more. In fact I'm in for three more days of puking, nausea, nonstop hiccups and abdominal pain at home. At one point I just laid in a bath for an hour. The hot water was the only thing that soothed the horrible pain in my chest and abdomen. My sister sent me a check for $50. I had just used the last of my money getting HALF my prescription because I couldnt afford the full round. Didnt matter- the meds made me feel sick. I dont want them. No more meds just HEALTH please! Today I'm in bed (hopefully for the last day) testing what I can eat, drink and what causes me pain. I'm broke, I have work to do, deadlines and I'm not supposed to stress because it makes my condition worse.
Why do I tell you all these things? Its the really real side of being an uninsured artist. Now I look into the programs that can help me get my follow ups done and work on improving my health so I can work, make money and pay the rent. Watch out for those seemingly innocent OTC drugs, I'm learning the hard way how long these things havent been tested over time. The way they can destroy your body and normal life. The frustrating and confusing way you have to navigate the health care world in order to find out what is wrong and what to do to fix it. Ive been living with this pain for years and years and years and am just now starting to see what could be my problem.
 Take care of yourselves!