Skip to main content

The Art of NO BIG DEAL

I wish I could tell you what the catalyst was for my new way of living- but even I'm unsure. Maybe you can only carry  stuff for so long and then it has an expiration date like spoiled milk and it gets tossed.
I only know that I used to make mountains out of molehills constantly. Must please so and so, let me bend over backwards to do this and simultaneously screw myself in the process. Everything that passed my eye was an opportunity to complain and sigh over...it was going to be hard. It was going to be an ordeal. I wasnt going to be happy doing it. It was going to take too long and not pay enough.
About two months ago that milk expired.

Now I approach things differently. I stopped thinking everything was a big deal. I stopped bending over backwards to give 500% where only 100% is actually needed. And I can say "this isnt working for me, pass" and not feel like a bitch. I feel perfectly fine protecting my spirit, time and peace of mind.
I approach things with the mindset that "this won't be hard at all" and I bet I can get this done in 3hrs or less. Im being more thorough in my research of things before I commit and making things worth my time. Little tweaks go a long way. If it feels worth my time- I feel happier doing it. How it should be.
And this hasn't just been in my professional life but in my personal life as well. I have found myself being yelled at by a complete stranger and surprising myself by....yelling right back. Not like I was triggered and flew off the handle- but like I was defiantly standing my ground as an adult who was not going to be yelled at by an old dude. The old me would have been filled with stress and panic...the new me had her hand on her hip telling that bullshit where to go.
I've even handled up on old stuff from my past and threw it in the "IDGAF Anymore" bin. Its hard to hold torches for things that no longer light your fire. Fires out, been out. New me, new fires to light.
I guess I've hit THAT point in my life and it feels damn good. A coming into your own. A valueing of yourself. Saying no comes easier and balance feels closer. It feels like whatever invisible thumb I imagined myself under has disappeared and I realize Im accountable for my own happiness.
And with that knowledge I am armed with everything.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Words!

  Hello! I haven't blogged since last year. Even writing the word "blog" felt foreign and weird! I have actually been writing stuff on my Patreon account so if you've missed the updates you can sign up for free over there. There is also an option to pay a few dollars a month to help support me as an artist and get "extra" content- in case you are of that mindset and either way- thank you for caring about the art adventures.  I have missed blogging actually. I guess I like to make words, string them together like a pretty necklace and let them live their own expressive life wrapped around me.  Times are different. Times are weird! But I guess you know that. And also times are the same and as old as time. Is it really more terrible than any other time or are we humans just more "connected" to the propaganda and daily bad trip in a way that is insane and unhealthy? Either way I do my best to keep my sanity and I don't believe about 98% of what I s...

Addicted

  Well it's official. I am addicted. Luckily to nothing horrible. It was bound to happen. I'm addicted to the morning walk...the endorphins...the serotonin...the "me" time....the solitude....the music pumping in my ears...the nature I see and feeling like I control my day.  I'm usually up before the sun and getting as much mileage as my body allows. Sometimes it's more than others but it's always good. I'm going to add in more sprints here and there as "burst" exercises are better for me than long running sessions.  Yes, even on the weekends I'm out doing it. There is no sleeping in and admittedly I woke up at 2:30am and started having my morning coffee in preparation... Even though I will wait till much later to go out. That's how I know it's an addiction.  Currently on Week 6 and haven't missed a workout or even postponed it. I showed up for myself and made myself a priority every morning. I am proud of that and so much LESS...

Everything in it's place

One of photographer Franks Lopez's vintage cameras Last week was a whirlwind of deadlines, bus trips and fun...all culminating in an art show on Saturday night and two glasses of celebratory wine for all my efforts. I had set a goal for three new vinyl works  to be done in about a week and actually made that happen (actually make that 4!). Normally 3 new vinyl pieces would be nothing for me to do in a week but I had challenged myself to work outside my realm of expertise and delve into the world of LED lights, epoxy, drills, bolts and other fascinating construction. The end result is that I can now push my vinyl creations further - the finished piece was well received! Sales were made and sales are pending and a whole new crowd has been exposed to my work. YAY!  I found myself modeling for local photographer Frank Lopez last week and was thrilled because I like his work very much. He was doing "tintypes" and I got to see the whole process in action as well as ex...