This is how I feel, like my body is no longer my home. It has been ransacked by intruders and a fire has been set to it. I don't feel safe in my own body anymore and even worse... I FEAR it. Every month, it is put through hellish torture and the aftermath is me trying to rebuild, my digestive system, my reproductive system, my general health and energy and my back.... Laying in bed for days puking does a number on an already injured spine. Finding time and the positivity I need to exercise and work, it's a struggle. If this is endo it also affects your immune system and food become enemies as well. So here I am, back to what I call Day 1 of rebuilding. Cooking food I can eat, kicking out what I can't eat (sugar, wheat, gluten, dairy, red meat, anything processed, refined, etc) and trying to get some light exercise to get oxygen to my hurt back. I could complain but it's pointless, today I'm thankful I can drink water and eat a banana. Enjoy your health!
Ah Rockford files, a comfortable and silly way to unwind after work. Yes, I am completely aware that I've turned into my Dad and watching Dad shows totally cements that theory. I had to start looking at the handsome James Garner in a new light though... He was a rich and famous star in his time and every evening spent curled up watching Rockford Files was an evening a painting wasn't getting worked on. No painting, no art show material. No painting, no galleries. No painting, no money. Would James Garner be watching TV every evening in a tired drowsy ball and not getting stuff done? Probably not. So I pulled myself away from TV land in the evenings and devoted at least a little time in the mornings as well. Even if it's just ten minutes. Even if you are just filling in all the blacks, blues or whatever... It is progress. Something is better than nothing. I'm proud to say this little habit tweak has totally kicked my butt into gear and I'm producing at a rate I'
I hope you find a solution to this nightmare. It's hard work but worth the sacrifice. Health is wealth.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing all I can possibly do, it's been years of researching possible diagnosis, treatments, trying this and trying that. Dealing with more doctors and er rooms than anyone should in a lifetime.
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