I haven't blogged in a long time. Life's been busy and strange. On the art front things seem well and this month alone has been good for art and record sales and new opportunities. I've even had some freelance work that really helped me out financially. However all that is dimmed by one thing.... My health. Or lack of it, I should say. My symptoms for my ailment get worse and worse. I have been up since 3:30 am in pain so bad I felt like I was going to throw up. I eventually did just now... Which is a very bad sign for me. That's usually a precursor for the ER. The only relief I get during the extreme abdominal pain that makes me feel like I'm being murdered by a machete to my gut... Is plunging myself in hot baths and just laying there waiting for the pain to pass. It's not uncommon for me to take 6 or more of these soakings in a day. These pains have begun to last 5-7 days where they used to last maybe 3. Pain meds don't work, none of them. My research is leading me to believe I have Endo, which really sucks as there's no cure. I have to get tighter on my diet and attempt gluten free and dairy free and see if that helps. I have an appointment in a few weeks where hopefully I can begin zeroing in on the cause and treatment. Although I might be in the hospital a lot sooner than I'd like truthfully. The few hours of painlessness I get a day I try to sleep or run out and get food I can eat. I have to say no to all social engagements and fear leaving the house. I stay as close as possible to my bed, my bath and my escape route to the hospital. I write this , not for sympathy but for understanding. I can't always be the strong positive and inspiring person I'm known to be. I feel a lot like a broken doll, confused, frustrated and a lot depressed about this. Chronic pain is a horrible affliction. In trying to deal with mine the best I can without sounding like a broken record or sad sack. All I ask for is patience and understanding when I can't do the things I'm used to being able to do.
Ah Rockford files, a comfortable and silly way to unwind after work. Yes, I am completely aware that I've turned into my Dad and watching Dad shows totally cements that theory. I had to start looking at the handsome James Garner in a new light though... He was a rich and famous star in his time and every evening spent curled up watching Rockford Files was an evening a painting wasn't getting worked on. No painting, no art show material. No painting, no galleries. No painting, no money. Would James Garner be watching TV every evening in a tired drowsy ball and not getting stuff done? Probably not. So I pulled myself away from TV land in the evenings and devoted at least a little time in the mornings as well. Even if it's just ten minutes. Even if you are just filling in all the blacks, blues or whatever... It is progress. Something is better than nothing. I'm proud to say this little habit tweak has totally kicked my butt into gear and I'm producing at a rate I'
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