I haven't blogged in a long time. Life's been busy and strange. On the art front things seem well and this month alone has been good for art and record sales and new opportunities. I've even had some freelance work that really helped me out financially. However all that is dimmed by one thing.... My health. Or lack of it, I should say. My symptoms for my ailment get worse and worse. I have been up since 3:30 am in pain so bad I felt like I was going to throw up. I eventually did just now... Which is a very bad sign for me. That's usually a precursor for the ER. The only relief I get during the extreme abdominal pain that makes me feel like I'm being murdered by a machete to my gut... Is plunging myself in hot baths and just laying there waiting for the pain to pass. It's not uncommon for me to take 6 or more of these soakings in a day. These pains have begun to last 5-7 days where they used to last maybe 3. Pain meds don't work, none of them. My research is leading me to believe I have Endo, which really sucks as there's no cure. I have to get tighter on my diet and attempt gluten free and dairy free and see if that helps. I have an appointment in a few weeks where hopefully I can begin zeroing in on the cause and treatment. Although I might be in the hospital a lot sooner than I'd like truthfully. The few hours of painlessness I get a day I try to sleep or run out and get food I can eat. I have to say no to all social engagements and fear leaving the house. I stay as close as possible to my bed, my bath and my escape route to the hospital. I write this , not for sympathy but for understanding. I can't always be the strong positive and inspiring person I'm known to be. I feel a lot like a broken doll, confused, frustrated and a lot depressed about this. Chronic pain is a horrible affliction. In trying to deal with mine the best I can without sounding like a broken record or sad sack. All I ask for is patience and understanding when I can't do the things I'm used to being able to do.
This was the year I got rejection letters from every open call I applied to. Granted, it wasn't very many I applied to because I am very picky about what I sign up for AND I am also very jaded about these things of late. However, this was my best art year to date and I kinda love that it was all rejection notices this year and I STILL HAD THE BEST ART YEAR EVER. Takeaway: Today's open calls are very "agenda based" and the jurors they choose to judge have their agendas. Some want more millennials and younger artists and shun the older artists, some want you to tackle race, gender identity, politics, feminist, pro this or that.... And my art does not. I'm going to stick by my "Nature is more important than most bullshit" stance till I die because the very atom of life and Nature is more important in my eyes than most of the stuff humans do to feel more important than another group. But I digress! I did not get into the velvet rope clubs and it was gre
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