Question yourself

We are only 15 days into the New Year and I've already found myself questioning myself like 100 times already. Daily. Does this benefit me? Whats the real payoff in doing this? Is this in line with my big picture? Is this "art" or something else? Is this a waste of time? Can I successfully take that on? Would my time be better spent elsewhere?
Navigating your own small art "business" while you would really rather just be painting is hard. Add into that a healthy dose of punk ideology that you see right through the veil of BS-that in order for your business to exist-you must be on corporate platforms you hate and play by their stupid rules and fakeness in order to get business.
Seriously I hate it.
I hate Zuckerberg and the way he has killed the organic communication we all shared. I hate the way he took my art fans that I cultivated all those years and put blindfolds on them...but if I pay ad money he will release the hostages and they can see my art again.
I hate the way he's taken Instagram and done the same thing. Hes turned people into fake versions of themselves posing in perfect settings with perfect outfits who try to project perfect perfect BULLSHIT.
Did I mention all I want to do is paint? Create real things for real people who also want real?
I don't want to wear designer clothes and pose in front of my painting so you can't see it.
I don't want to do insipid work with BRANDS that sell products that just junk up the planet-just because they're INFLUENCERS. Thats not art. Youre just decorating a product. Youre basically a cake decorator. Youre a wallpaper maker. Vinyl stickers are not real murals btw. There is so much fakity fake posturing in our unbrave new world that it hurts my soul daily to navigate it.
I just wanted to be a painter. I just wanted to keep my soul.
I went on a Fugazi listening spree the other day and it reminded me of the old organic life we used to have. Uncurated, real... with certain morals and ethics firmly in place. No one thought it was cool to take pictures with "brands" and labels. That's all changed.
It was good to hear the music and good to hear the words. It reminded me of who I really am and keeps me questioning.
Why do that? Who does this REALLY benefit?
Answer: It's not you.

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