Skip to main content

Lost Connection

Ooh yes I did put my 44 year old body on the skateboard again 😂 Haven't hit the streets like that since I was a teenager! It feels great and f'kin scary too! Actually never thought I'd get back on one because I remember all the reasons why I stopped in the first place... falling on my back on a homemade ramp was the last straw at 16/17. 

Something about this year has just made me cast off a lot of fears and ideas I've had about myself. I'm living in a state of absolute freedom while many are living in a state of absolute fear. I am playing again. I've stopped caring about climbing around the monkey bars of a social scene and the "art world" and pretty curated galleries and trying to get in where I fit in. Big middle finger to that stuffy life- I'm doing it myself. Creating my island. Creating my stage. Creating my environment. Creating my joy. 

I stepped on the skateboard that wanted to throw me into the street and felt the fear of falling again, did it anyway and remembered my soul that never ages. I've bought into a lot of stupid shit over the years about what I was "supposed" to be and how I was supposed to get things...and this year I've cast it all off. My eyes are open. The system is bullshit. Watching your friends get old, wide, only concerned with politics and social grab assing and no fun ...is bullshit. What a horrible reality we've created.

So embracing my inner 14 year old has been super therapeutic for where I am. The final shrug of the shoulders of all the things I don't need in my life. I feel so happy and content that my spirit and joy have returned. Next I will unearth my bike...my real and first bestie. And my bass guitar...
I'm having a personal Renaissance over here. This time to myself is such a gift.

And it's like all things are pointing me the direction I already know I should take. 
Did you lose a connection with some things you love and are a part of you? Did you know it is still waiting for you to pick it back up?
Life does not have to be the stale piece of toast you didn't even order. Throw it in the floor and leave that restaurant.



 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Addicted

Well it's official. I am addicted. Luckily to nothing horrible. It was bound to happen. I'm addicted to the morning walk...the endorphins...the serotonin...the "me" time....the solitude....the music pumping in my ears...the nature I see and feeling like I control my day.  I'm usually up before the sun and getting as much mileage as my body allows. Sometimes it's more than others but it's always good. I'm going to add in more sprints here and there as "burst" exercises are better for me than long running sessions.  Yes, even on the weekends I'm out doing it. There is no sleeping in and admittedly I woke up at 2:30am and started having my morning coffee in preparation... Even though I will wait till much later to go out. That's how I know it's an addiction.  Currently on Week 6 and haven't missed a workout or even postponed it. I showed up for myself and made myself a priority every morning. I am proud of that and so much LESS STR…

Stayin' Alive Stayin' Alive

"Calyces Primavera" mixed media on         30" x 30" gallery wrapped canvas

Today is a busy day- showing art at the Artist Showcase and Home Tour from 4-8pm. I'll have to be there early to hang so I'll be here practically all day. Excited to see everyones art and meet n greet. The only thing Im apprehensive about is MY BODY IS TRYING TO KILL ME THIS WEEK and how will I survive chatting up people and pretending theres not a murderer stabbing me?!
Sorry, real talk. I want to do the ARTIST thing but it's also stabbing time and very hard for me.
However I'm pretty proud of myself for knocking a new painting out this month despite the pains and heavy work load- I made time for ME and my goals. I have to. No compromise.
I also woke up to a headache. No doubt because Ive been cutting calories and my body is wise to it. Sorry body-but it has to be done until you remember how to work properly again.
So rough week for me as I go through physical body stuff b…

Thank you Covid

I've been steady replacing bad habits with good ones. Such as-time wasted in the mornings on Facebook have now been replaced with morning stretching sessions and honestly -it has made a WORLD of difference. Starting your day on the floor is grounding. Literally. Remember when you were a kid? You actually spent a lot of time on floors, on grass, sitting cross legged for some thing or other. At some point you lost touch with that, trading up for the adult world of ergonomic chairs at computers on desks and busy offices. In my case, I also entered the adult world of back injury and all that entailed. The back injury made me quit my job to pursue art life and it feels like my brush with Covid19 has made me have another epiphany to change things as well. My life had gotten stagnant and joyless. Chasing rent and never getting ahead will do that to you. Then Covid came and slapped me in the face... The body and spirit I had was being wasted and squandered. My health sucked. So slowly I …