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Lost Connection

Ooh yes I did put my 44 year old body on the skateboard again 😂 Haven't hit the streets like that since I was a teenager! It feels great and f'kin scary too! Actually never thought I'd get back on one because I remember all the reasons why I stopped in the first place... falling on my back on a homemade ramp was the last straw at 16/17. 

Something about this year has just made me cast off a lot of fears and ideas I've had about myself. I'm living in a state of absolute freedom while many are living in a state of absolute fear. I am playing again. I've stopped caring about climbing around the monkey bars of a social scene and the "art world" and pretty curated galleries and trying to get in where I fit in. Big middle finger to that stuffy life- I'm doing it myself. Creating my island. Creating my stage. Creating my environment. Creating my joy. 

I stepped on the skateboard that wanted to throw me into the street and felt the fear of falling again, did it anyway and remembered my soul that never ages. I've bought into a lot of stupid shit over the years about what I was "supposed" to be and how I was supposed to get things...and this year I've cast it all off. My eyes are open. The system is bullshit. Watching your friends get old, wide, only concerned with politics and social grab assing and no fun bullshit. What a horrible reality we've created.

So embracing my inner 14 year old has been super therapeutic for where I am. The final shrug of the shoulders of all the things I don't need in my life. I feel so happy and content that my spirit and joy have returned. Next I will unearth my real and first bestie. And my bass guitar...
I'm having a personal Renaissance over here. This time to myself is such a gift.

And it's like all things are pointing me the direction I already know I should take. 
Did you lose a connection with some things you love and are a part of you? Did you know it is still waiting for you to pick it back up?
Life does not have to be the stale piece of toast you didn't even order. Throw it in the floor and leave that restaurant.



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