The Art of NO BIG DEAL

I wish I could tell you what the catalyst was for my new way of living- but even I'm unsure. Maybe you can only carry stuff for so long and then it has an expiration date like spoiled milk and it gets tossed.
I only know that I used to make mountains out of molehills constantly. Must please so and so, let me bend over backwards to do this and simultaneously screw myself in the process. Everything that passed my eye was an opportunity to complain and sigh over...it was going to be hard. It was going to be an ordeal. I wasnt going to be happy doing it. It was going to take too long and not pay enough.
About two months ago that milk expired.

Now I approach things differently. I stopped thinking everything was a big deal. I stopped bending over backwards to give 500% where only 100% is actually needed. And I can say "this isnt working for me, pass" and not feel like a bitch. I feel perfectly fine protecting my spirit, time and peace of mind.
I approach things with the mindset that "this won't be hard at all" and I bet I can get this done in 3hrs or less. Im being more thorough in my research of things before I commit and making things worth my time. Little tweaks go a long way. If it feels worth my time- I feel happier doing it. How it should be.

And this hasn't just been in my professional life but in my personal life as well. I have found myself being yelled at by a complete stranger and surprising myself by....yelling right back. Not like I was triggered and flew off the handle- but like I was defiantly standing my ground as an adult who was not going to be yelled at by an old dude. The old me would have been filled with stress and panic...the new me had her hand on her hip telling that bullshit where to go.
I've even handled up on old stuff from my past and threw it in the "IDGAF Anymore" bin. Its hard to hold torches for things that no longer light your fire. Fires out, been out. New me, new fires to light.
I guess I've hit THAT point in my life and it feels damn good. A coming into your own. A valueing of yourself. Saying no comes easier and balance feels closer. It feels like whatever invisible thumb I imagined myself under has disappeared and I realize Im accountable for my own happiness.
And with that knowledge I am armed with everything.

Comments

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Art Plunge

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