Art Plunge

This time tomorrow I'll be in the skies heading towards Idaho. A connecting flight in Oakland midway... then I'm on my way to the potato state! I'll be putting up a sky/cloud mural in the home of a friend I've been Facebook friends with for over ten years it seems...and we've been discussing this mural for a loooooong time! So strange that it's finally happening. As with any big project - my mind is trying to make mountains out of molehills and telling me I can't do it...Im going to fall...get whiplash...drown in paint and all manner of negative things. My brain does this to me ALL THE TIME. I then have to walk my brain through all the things we've already done and done well and none of those things happened EVER. Like working on a wall by myself in the recesses of a hotel where the lights were off and the fire alarm kept going off multiple times a day in a strange city and dudes kept stealing my ladder. We did that. Put up a wall mural in the middl

Whooo am I in the middle of BUSY SEASON or what? It's kind of a given in this world of freelancing to expect one thing...when it rains it pours. Your completely non existent work load becomes 7 things due that week in the blink of an eye. It's a given. The projects you have been waiting on approvals for will all get approved at once and then it will be time to run, run, run. And then more surprise things will appear you can'tsay NO to. So deep breathe and repeat my favorite mantra that Im pretty sure my favorite monk Thich Nhat Hahn said..." Time enough for everything". Take this moment by moment and piece by piece. Yes you have a mountain to climb and it seems daunting but in this moment you need only take one step. Then the next one. Then the next. One step. You got this. You do not live in tomorrow or next week...you live in the "right now" and you need only take one step. Remember this- it has saved me many meltdowns. Breathe in and breathe out-

A giant blank canvas was staring at me and my body was in "pain" mode and couldn't really go outside and play...so I played inside. "Playing" has become a rare thing for me because "working" has become a regular thing for me. Like- ALL THE TIME. So it was nice to take the day and play with new colors. Not worrying if it fit a certain criteria or if it was sellable or anything at all...just good old fashioned play.  Remember sitting and coloring in your coloring books as a kid? Get THAT feeling back. I'm going to be putting up some clouds soon and needed to work on some color mixing so the right shades of purple and pinks show up- so a little work on the brain-but really just play on a lazy Sunday. Today I'll paint over this and do some different ones because it was actually fun and meditative. 😂 I should incorporate more play into my schedule, I really should. I am loving the yellow and purple combo and will need to work that into a futur

My "On This Day" from 2015 I'm not sure why it's my morning ritual to have coffee while reading my ON THIS DAY posts on Facebook. It's usually good for a chuckle, a reminisce, a head shake and some eye rolls. Sometimes its a good reminder of my struggle-such as this one.  Endometriosis. (Early pieces using "organ-like shapes, veins and blobby growths to convey this mysterious pain I was living with) I'm an artist with endometriosis and it still hasn't been "diagnosed" on paper thru laparoscopy. But this is common for women with endo. You are treated as though you probably have it and if the treatment seems helpful then by process of elimination that is what you have. But...not on paper. I could go into a very long boring story of my pain but really- I wrote all those blogs and notes already. Before anyone even knew what endo was, I was thick in its nightmare. Thinking it was everything from fibroids, cysts, tumors, PCOS

Just sold a very important piece in my reportoire- "Between Dreams"- which had once gotten me all the way to NYC. It had been chosen for a group show called "LANDSCAPE:A SENSE OF PLACE" by Annette Rose-Shapiro (managing editor of ARTnews magazine). (Annette Rose-Shapiro and me at SITE: BROOKLYN) I had only a few days to submit to the competition and didn't think I would finish this painting in time. I was swamped working to pay the bills but I kept thinking- do it-do it-do it...you never know if you don't do it. So I would drag myself into the studio after work and paint. I remember getting the acceptance letter-what a feeling! "Between Dreams" what a fitting title for a piece that shows the boundaries between fantastical and reality- and just which location are you heading to? Which one are you leaving behind? This one's been hanging in my house a few years now, it's been shown a few times. It reminds me that I did it once- which

I don't remember at what point I became mesmerized by the sport and art of skateboarding but this little rounded piece of wood and wheels has always been there.  From watching my sister make one and stencil it out as a tiny kid in the 80s- to buying my own used Alva board with Santa Cruz big balls wheels when I was in highschool...I was hooked. Granted- I could not skate for shit- I did it anyway and accumulated all the wounds and bloody disasters that come with it. It was after a particularly painful crash on a homemade ramp that I decided to hang it up and stick to painting and watching the videos. I could live vicariously through the Blind: Video Days classic and the new-at-the-time 411 video library. These guys were blowing my mind- the wheels got smaller -the tricks got bigger. My favorite thing to watch were skate videos where I could imagine what it must feel like to pull those tricks. I learned so much about hip hop music and new songs I had never heard. Skate videos w

A very old photo of my Troll Cat ACTUALLY wearing a tiny hat! Happy St. Catrick's Day! Popping off a little blog first thing in the a.m. to clear the brain as I sip coffee. I'm in the process of rewiring myself and morning is the perfect time to do all my new rituals. These include: 1. Guided meditation -Ive found some nice simple ones on Youtube that range everywhere from "Lions Mind" when Im feeling like I need to take charge....to "Just breathe and be right here in your body". Theres some for SLEEP and healing body scans. Doing meditation first thing in the morning puts me right here in the day and reminds me to enjoy the moments as they come and not get stuck in negative mind ramblings. 2. Positive Affirmations- I know I'm starting to sound ultra hippie dippie but I DO NOT CARE 😂 I put on positive affirmations while I soak in a bath and repeat things to myself. "I AM HEALTHY. I AM STRONG. I AM KIND" etc, etc. Because for too long Iv

     Latest piece that is untitled for now Yesterday was a journey into NO ELECTRICITY! I happened to wake up at 3:30 am...and not able to get back to sleep just decided it was coffee time. I don't "fight" and get frustrated anymore with sleep stuff- I just roll and pretend clocks have no power. Speaking of no power....I was midway through my coffee when this major storm blew the power out! These things usually don't last long but I shuffled around and assembled the candles where they were useful...bathroom, kitchen, bedroom. I was feeling proud of myself for getting my coffee made before the blackout. Made a bunch of jokes on Facebook then took a lovely candlelight bath, which I had been wanting to do as a weekly thing anyway. I was like YAY CANDLELIGHT BATH TIME! Still no power and the day wore on. I must confess to having a secret side...this side enjoys chaos (to an extent). So disruptions of Mother Nature as long as they're harmless- I relish. I wasn

It's a new week! Last week was a doozy...up and down rollercoaster ride that spit me out wondering where I was going. I took the weekend to recalibrate. I did not "work" on any social media promotions or even peek on my shop to see my stats. I was just a person and I ate ice cream, walked the park, finished my book (yay!) And SLEPT. Aside from finishing a sample for work I didn't even get into work mode and paint. I guess a total reboot was in order. I also started back on my meditating- which really helps me set a good intention for the day and be a nicer person. 😂 I'm even exploring the hippy dippy world of "positive affirmations"- hey why not? I need to tell myself I'm worthy. I got this! I need to feel it and act on it. Also remembering to actually set a PLAN- not just having a loosey goosey daydream "want". But making it a solid thing. Writing it down. Planning for it. That was how I quit my job once upon a time to become an arti

It's nowhere near Halloween but I'm thinking about ghost people and setting them free to the wind. Ghost people may have seemed like friends at some point in time but in reality never had the proper mechanisms inside them to be your friends. They were either motivated by one thing or another but that motivation was never love, kindness or authenticity. It was a good time or nothing for them. There's a reason why the term "fair weather friend" was coined. So whether you kicked them to the curb or they "ghosted" on you AGAIN (because thats all they know to do, cowardly pitiful things) it's a good time to just let them fly off and not let them in your house again. MARCH is for marching forward. Im not only thinking of my own ghost people but seeing how people keep a beef going on Facebook long after the fact. Let it go. Life is wasted on that stuff. Im having a recharge weekend connecting with a lot of things and celebrating all the kind friends who

I get told that I inspire people pretty often. How cool is that? But at some point I lost a connection with it all.  I never got told I inspire people when I worked behind a cash register. And the boxes I used to handle when I did shipping and receiving never said "hey you really inspire me". In fact, that was a really dark time in my life because I wasn't being ME and I wasnt putting anything into the world. I was going through the motions of a workerbee. And a workerbee wasn't what I was meant to be. This photo from a few years ago popped up and I did the "oh yeeeah"...I had forgotten all the little victories. New York. Good Morning Texas. Getting published. Getting interviewed. Getting into shows. Selling the big paintings, selling the small paintings. All the people who grew with me. I lost the connection somewhere in fighting to survive in a city that's becoming unaffordable to me. I lost the connection somewhere in fighting my body for hea

 Mammogram Part 2- Electric Boogaloo So I got the news that "something" abnormal was detected on my mammogram and that I needed a follow up test and sonogram. All my friends and family have been super supportive and informative about their own experiences so I have worried less about this than I normally would in the past. My test is scheduled this morning so keep a good thought out for me. ❤ I have been fortunate (if we can call it that) that I have been able to stay on top of all exams and because of my endometriosis- have seen my share of hospitals, CT scans, sonograms and blood work tests. So while ALL THAT SUCKED- its kept me in the loop of my body and health. It's also just given me the attitude of "ok, here we go again...lets see what's going on and then formulate a gameplan from there". But fingers crossed it's just a lost popcorn kernel that zigged when it should have zagged. 😂 I have had some very kind people step up and make my current

This seems to be a constant in my life. Except replace "waiting" with "working". Working for ships that never come in. Now would be a good time for me to take a break from social media where I feel Im inundated with ads for "webinars for small businesses", "masterclasses" for this or that and a growing skepticism it's all just an email grab in the long run. I distinctly remember quitting my job so my business could be PAINTING....now I find myself doing more social media marketing research than anything else. HALT! Stop the presses! I have $160 in my bank account. Really. One bill coming in right now could tank me. And despite all my work on my shop, hustling social media, etc...I made about $30 yesterday from one customer who also happens to be family. My story is not very different from most artists though. So I keep my pity party to myself (and I am definitely crying behind closed doors) and brave on through another day. The thought

Feeling very ART PLUNGEY today and wanted to vent some ART stuff. What is it like being a freelance artist? Just in case you had some fancy notion its all selling art online immediately after you create it and then "living your best life"...let me laugh in your face and pull out my balloon popping needle... 1. PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOUR STUFF. They will tell you so. And in the same breath in a very long run on sentence say "someday I hope to collect your work BUT...". You will then see said people fly to Europe, Hawaii, Japan and drink 100 flowery cocktails all year. You may have even discounted your work very low for said people only to see they did indeed have money...just not money for YOU. They LOVE YOUR ART but they do not buy it. Period. Ask almost any artist and this is their story too. Alcohol yes...Art no. 2. Chances are you are having to hustle A LOT. Create a LOT of things for a LOT of people. Be a lot of artists in one body- pleasing this sector and th

I had one of those interesting weekends where you find yourself on absolutely different ends of the spectrum back to back. Friday night was djing at Texas Theatre for a burlesque show called "Dallas Dames". It was a mixture of elegant, artsy, fancy dress and raw unbridled She Power with pasties, tassles and not much clothing. All the things you hope for at such a sexy performance. It was fun and enjoyable and the ladies worked hard for the cat calls and cheers. The next night I found myself surrounded by preteens and small children with their moms ...and everyone in lots of clothes. I was there to see Sedated- a Ramones cover band who put on a great show with the lead singer mimicking Joey Ramones stage stance and vocals pretty well. I was there with my long time friend from the highschool days and fellow Ramones fan. In fact we had both seen the real Ramones twice in our younger days. Why all the tiny kids though? The next band was a clean cut band of blonde cute

New month is about to start and it's time to regroup. I did not finish a book this month. I fell back into my old habits of wasting time on social media and I have missed 2 weeks of gym because of illness, back injury, excuses! 😂 Well, I'm human. So take 2! I'm making a concentrated effort to get my groove back. Stressing about rent constantly has decreased my level of joy in life so some big changes need to be made. I'm working on figuring that out. I do know that this kind of constant worry is not what we are here on earth for. And I wonder why my blood pressure is suddenly high. When I start feeling like Im not where I should be I ask myself - if I was approached today to show my work would I be ready? The honest answer is no. I'm about to start on new work but the new work is not there. So I can get down on myself about it or I can make that work appear. I'm choosing to make that work appear. This means concentrated time producing, not taking on eve