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Hexes and Vexes Oh My!

David Bowie on red see thru 15" phonograph vinyl record, work in progress...possibly cursed!

I like making up fantastical stories in my head. It makes life more exciting. For instance I like to think that this red phonograph record I'm painting on is possibly cursed and the minute I laid my paintbrush to it I shook something deep inside the earth and some miasma  I could not see enveloped me and started making everything wrong happen. That's much more exciting than thinking that because I'm tired and unfocused and because things just happen... that is why mistakes and folly have beset me. No...it's HEXES and CURSES! HELL YEAH!
Friday the 13th found the new car with a smashed hood, thanks to some dipshit who decided to stop abruptly on the highway -which caused the vehicle in front of us to stop abruptly on the highway -which caused us to stop abruptly on the highway and the brakes....locked and slippity slide right into the SUV in front of us. Nice. Thanks Friday the 13th. 
Still pissed and disoriented but eager to get some work done I proceeded painting on my red cursed vinyl. It was coming out nicely, I had planned to push this one even farther and add lighting elements. I left parts I wanted the lights to shine through and painted around on the parts that would block light out. An experiment. I would have to build a backing base to float the record away from the wall far enough to add lights and....would have to find lights. So yesterday after waking up at 7:30 am and starting painting immediately I found myself on the road to look for lights at 1pm.....with no lunch in my belly. I brought along my record so I could test out lights on it as I got them and if they didn't work immediately return them instead of making extra trips. I thought this was a good idea but....
I had no energy, I was grumpy and the store which boasted a certain LED light kit on their website didn't have said kit. EFF! Ok, whatever. LUNCH FIRST and then back to hunting. Apparently there was supposed to be a PHO restaurant a few blocks away...at least according to GOOGLE. After about 30 minutes of getting turned around and lost in Garland where the PHO BANG was never found it was off to Pei Wei. Lunch consumed I felt a little more human. Until I discovered a GIANT ERROR on my part. Vinyl record in the car...in the Texas heat? What do you think?
Melt city.
Luckily it was only a small part of the record that warped out but I was furious and couldn't wait to get the thing home so I could try to flatten it out again. But home wasn't in the equation until stupid LED lights were found. Found some that MIGHT work at a different store but wasn't totally satisfied and it was off to FRY'S Electronics. After another hour of pouring through LED lights that you couldn't test because they were in tight little blister packs I grabbed a few options and crossed my fingers. I sat in the parking lot of Fry's with my album on the concrete trying to warm it back to a malleable state so I could flatten it out. It wasn't happpening. I would have to iron it when I got home.
Got home and immediately bust out the iron. Ironed the record down as much as I could and noticed it had marred the surface of an area I wanted to leave showing. REALLY? SERIOUSLY? Gimme a break Universe! So then it was back to the drawing board...LITERALLY. Redesigned the composition and decided the surface would need to be painted in that spot. The record is ever so slightly warped but not badly at all and now it is a whole other monster than when I first started it.
Today will find me repainting, finishing the painting of it and experimenting with the lights and epoxy and trying to build the backing base with hanging attachment. I am fully prepared for this thing to fly poltergeist style off the wall and shatter into a million pieces in a puff of magical purple smoke!
However it WILL BE DONE TODAY! Oh yes!
Moral of the story: Eat lunch! Don't work on things when you're angry! Don't use LED lights! Don't take vinyl out on roadtrips! Don't drive cars that don't fly!
I'll post pictures of the magnificent queen bitch of a record when it's done!

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